INDUSTRIAL WASTE FASHIONED INTO INFANT ATTIRE
SAN FRANCISCO, July 20-- Cordarounds.com, famed purveyor of horizontal-corduroy pants and also one of America's most wanton polluters, today announced it has struck a deal with the Environmental Protection Agency to repurpose thousands of tons of corduroy scraps for a new line of toddler pants.
Industry observers say this historic accord will not only stop the company's well-known practice of dumping its waste in the breeding grounds of the rare winged Manatee, it will mean a sizzling new look for the playground this summer.
"The process of creating horizontal corduroy clothing, especially shorts, leaves us with unbelievable amounts of leftover fabric," said Cordarounds.com founder Chris Lindland, appearing at a press conference with a California Condor perched atop his left forearm. So what do you do?"
"In the past, we simply washed this problem down the drain -- or, more specifically, we pumped radioactive corduroy slurry into San Francisco Bay each night. But today's customer wants clothing that not only feels good, but
feels right," Lindland said, pointing to his heart.
 
To avoid millions in Superfund fines, the online clothing colossus tasked its engineers to create useful new products out of the scrap fabric. After focus groups rejected corduroy cat-scratching posts, corduroy sumo loin cloths and corduroy chopstick cozies, the company finally hit on a product that
everybody, specifically bodies under 3 feet tall, could appreciate -- baby pants.
Visit Cordarounds.com and see the new line of Babyrounds, available in hunter and khaki corduroy as well as blue seersucker.
Cordarounds is an online clothier that designs, manufactures and mails from San Francisco. The popular haberdasher sells online and only online to a cult of fans worldwide. For more on the company, contact Chris Lindland at chris@cordarounds.com.
For pulse-pounding summer reading, visit Electric Storytime.
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