WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU BABYROUNDS, MAKE A BABY.

It was a famously bad business decision, the creation of Babyrounds. Not the concept, but the volume.

Last summer, we said, “Hey, let’s make something cute and clever out of all these leftover fabric scraps!” Little did we know this industrial waste would yield a mountain of baby pants as terrifying as the Eiger!

Despite having sold more baby pants than a meth-addled Willy Loman with
a steamer trunk full of Garanimals, we’re still up to our eyeballs in the darn things. So, with space at a premium aboard Cordarounds’ new economy-size corporate zeppelin, we’ve decided to hold another Babyrounds sale and give 100% of the proceeds to our friends Chuck and Erin, who shelled out a serious wad of dough on failed in vitro fertilization, and now must pay another mountain of moola to adopt a child.

Cordarounds has established many business firsts: first clothing company to own and operate a functioning dirigible, first advertisement to include the phrase, “We shall leave the surf frothing with our enemy’s rotten blood!” Now we’d like to be the first company to donate all profits from the sale of high-tech baby pants to a good cause. This isn’t 2% for the rainforest or 5% for the manatees. When you buy a pair of Babyrounds for $20, Cordarounds will put 100% of that double sawbuck toward the purchase of a child for Chuck and Erin.

So, if you have a baby, know someone who has a baby, or need a strong
procreation incentive, pick up a pair of Babyrounds this month, and know you’ll be doing a darn bit of good.

But that’s not all. Cordarounds scientists have cooked up something very special for all our new Babyrounds customers: With each pant purchase, they’ll use a special laser to nano-etch your name on a unique part of the child’s anatomy.

Stake your claim by purchasing a pair of Babyrounds and telling us your desired real estate in the comments section of the order form. What will bear your name? The funny bone? The uvula? Maybe a lymph node?

And, finally, if you're feeling charitable, but are far too manly to ever purchase baby pants, we understand. To you, we offer this link to the Chuck and Erin blog and baby fund.

For all your pant needs, visit our store.

______________________________________________________________________________

WALL ST. JOURNAL EXTENDS CORDAROUNDS SUMMER SALE

Cordarounds received an unexpected visit from a pant-thirsty mob of preppies last week, when the Wall St. Journal put our horizontal seersucker pants and shorts on the map. So intense was the interest, that our inventory's thin enough to remain on sale till it all sells out. With the highest summer heats ahead, there's no better way to insulate natures most precious equipment from the ravages of summer swelter.

______________________________________________________________________________

BILL: 4 , Google: 14

Like all great underdog tales -- Rocky, The Karate Kid, Meatballs -- the favorite has taken off to a commanding lead. But when all seems lost, heros find the can-do magic in their soul and valiantly fight back. Today, we find Bill confidently astride a Mongolian steed wearing Cordarounds and discussing sardines. Something tells me that today, Bill's birthday, the tide will surely turn.

How to support Bill.

______________________________________________________________________________

THIS WEEK: THAT ROBOT DONE SH!T HIS BRITCHES AGAIN.

When Pa walked into the livin' room, he plum near threw his lunchpail through the window. Turns out that no-good robot had taken a great big dump in its new corduroy trousers, and now the whole house stank somethin' terrible. READ MORE.

______________________________________________________________________________

CLICK TO LISTEN TO THE CORDAROUNDS FIGHT SONG

______________________________________________________________________________